think every American, who isn't a Californian, is laughing
about the California Recall Election. Some of us Californians
are laughing, too.
Patricia and I received our sample ballot. It's hilarious!
first question is “Shall Gray Davis be recalled
(removed) from the office of Governor”
Only in California do you have to tell the voter that
"Recall" means "Throw the rascal out".
It doesn't mean to put him back in office, as in hitting
the "redial" button on your cell phone, Dude.
question is followed by a list of 168 candidates each
of whom has forked over 4 figures to be on the ballot.
Most of them are unknowns, of course. Also, most of
them are being ignored by the media, so they have but
one chance to sell you on voting for them, and that
is how they present themselves on the "Sample Ballot".
Each candidate has three things included: 1. Their name,
which can include a nickname in quotes, 2. Their Profession
and 3. Their party affiliation.
example there is Cruz Bustamante, Lt. Governor, Democrat
or Todd Richard Lewis, Businessman, Independent. Pretty
straight forward stuff.
candidates are hoping voters will be so stupid that
they will think the candidate is someone famous: Examples
Richard Simmons, Attorney, Businessperson – who
is NOT the exercise guru S. Issa, Engineer – No
relation to the Congressman who started the recall Edward
"Ed" Kennedy, definitely not of the Chappaquidick
Kennedys Dianna Foss, no profession listed, not to be
confused with Diva Dianna Ross Dan Feinstein, also no
profession listed, not related to the SenatorMichael
Jackson, Satellite Project Manager, definitely not the
affiliations are the usual, Republican, Democratic and
Independent. But there are also 4 from the Green Party,
3 Libertarians, 2 from the Natural Law Party and one
each representing the American Independent Party and
the Peace & Freedom Party.
are several who are famous or used to be famous including
some of the big names like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Peter
Ueberroth, and Arianna Huffington (who lists herself
as "author/columnist/mother"). Leo Gallagher
(Comedian); Gary Coleman (Actor); Larry Flynt, (Publisher);
Angelyne (entertainer) and everyone's favorite Mary
"Mary Carey" Cook, (Adult film actress).
Huffington is not the only one to brag about having
offspring under the category of Profession. In fact
three list themselves as a "father", one as
a "mother" and one woman preferred the more
politically correct, "Parent" No one listed
"Housewife" or "Stay at home Dad"
in this category – no "Soccer Moms"
there are the folks who don't have famous names who,
by virtue of the way they present their name and/or
profession, try to tell you why you should vote for
them. Some of the more interesting ones are: (My comments
Badiozamani, Entrepreneur/Author/Executive (Busy
John Christopher Burton, Civil Rights Lawyer (No
estate planning from this guy)
David Ronald Sams, Businessman/Producer/Writer (another
Lawrence Steven Strauss, Lawyer/Businessperson/Student
(What could he be studying?)
Christopher Sproul, Environmental Attorney (No estate
planning here either)
R. Sprague, Discrimination Complaint Investigator (Works
for the Civil Rights Lawyer)
Paul Nave, Businessman/Prizefighter/Father (His kids
better toe the line)
Robert Newman, Psychologist/Farmer (perhaps a “Horse
Jack Loyd Grisham, Musician/Laborer (Can't make a
living with that horn)
William S. "Bill" Chambers, Railroad Switchman/Brakeman
(Not even an Engineer)
Ronald Jason Palmieri, Gay Rights Attorney (more
"Rights" being violated)
Lorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes, Film Maker (Lorraine
is also Abner?)
Warren Farrell, Father's Issues Author (Must have
to do with control of the remote)
David Laughing Horse Robinson, Tribal Chairman (favors
Nathan Whitecloud Walton, Student (Tuition paid by
Kurt "Tachikaze" Rightmyer, Middleweight Sumo
Wrestler ( Not one of those BIG guys)
Ned Roscoe, Cigarette Retailer (Guess what his agenda
Bruce Margolin, Marijuana Legalization Attorney (How
about his agenda)
Paul "Chip" Mailander, Golf Pro (Never
up, never in)
Mike McCarthy, Used Car Dealer (A guy you really
would buy a used car from)
Mohammed Arif, Businessman (Runs a flight school)
Ivan A. Hall, Custom Denture Manufacturer (Can get
his teeth into the issues)
NOT MAKING THIS UP, HONEST
to the "Land of Fruits and Nuts"